The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
