Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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