he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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