At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
