I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
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Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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