Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
