normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
