I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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