Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
