I have demons in me.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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