Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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