Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
