Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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