Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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