im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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