I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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