Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
