Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
