Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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