when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
