You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
soo... how was my night?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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