Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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