I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize