2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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