And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
