You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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