I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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