carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
