So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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