We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
either way he was missing a nipple.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
