i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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