Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
