He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
