Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
