Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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