dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
