it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize