lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
