check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
