they need to just BURY HIM!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
