Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
