I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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