Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
