Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
