I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
