he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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