It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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