Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize