WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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