Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
