my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
