Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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