i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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