you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
