She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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