In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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