Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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