i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
