I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
