It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
