9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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