Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
