You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
