Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
