i don't like sucking hair
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
