I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
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It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
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Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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