Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
