Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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