Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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