no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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